“Hope it was worth it,” the anonymous account threatened. When I made another TikTok discussing the Psychology Today article, and how women are willing to wait longer for the right partner-among the many comments from ladies in agreement, I was warned by one user of increased “violence” against women. ”Īnd according to a recent piece published in Psychology Today-written by board-certified couple and family psychologist Greg Matos-it seems that while women were already putting off marriage to achieve certain goals (if we choose to marry at all), more of us are also unwilling to compromise, particularly when it comes to emotional availability and communication.Īnd it’s leading to more single, lonely men. Carmichael thinks that though both men and women can unintentionally be “boxing themselves into a corner” with certain standards-sometimes people “say someone’s standards are ‘too high’ as a way to absolve themselves of the responsibility to try to meet or live up to. But the ones who are going to speak are the ones who are scared” of what could happen if women continue to determine their own value and no longer prioritize marriage, says Dr. Now, there “are a lot of good men out there. I have to wonder why women are constantly encouraged, and damn near expected, to date whomever will accept us-regardless of what we want and what we bring to the table. But after seeing comments like this, I’m reminded of the controversial opinions of men like the late Kevin Samuels-who built an online platform on “relationship advice” that often targeted Black women and women over 30 for being what he described as “low value” because they did not possess the sexist qualities he believed were necessary for them to attract a “high value” man. I have great respect for blue-collar workers and I know many of them must make great spouses. “We can’t allow other people to tell us what our priorities should be,” she added. “Everyone’s got different priorities and if my priorities were to get married, I’d marry the first guy that asked me,” psychologist and counselor Suzanne Degges-White told The Daily Beast. I’m not sure if the commenter was speaking about the many college-educated Walmart employees, or those who make as much as $200,000 dollars a year, or if he was referring to the average associate-but when marriage isn’t a dire necessity, I have every reason (and right) to pass on whomever I choose. Yet even that obvious fact didn’t stop one TikTok commenter from assuming my “life partner may be working at Walmart” and I simply “pass him” for other options.
Plenty of women, myself included, may want to be married or have a life partner, but we also have too many options and needs-beyond marriage and child-rearing-to rush and settle with just anyone. We were once socialized to prioritize marriage and children, and now women see “there are a lot of other paths besides that.” Times are changing and “women’s sense of value is shifting,” psychologist and author Dr. But, perhaps, it’s actually these same men that should be more concerned about what not meeting these standards means for their own satisfaction and well being.īecause for years, women have grown increasingly comfortable with not getting married.
It’s become disgustingly popular for men in some spheres to warn women that having “high” standards is a problem that will leave them bitter and alone. Those are a couple of unsolicited comments I got from what appeared to be male-led accounts when I asked single Black women (who date men) on TikTok how they viewed the dating world based on the quality of matches. “Black women are conditioned to view Black men as beneath them.”įKA twigs Said Abuse ‘Can Happen to Anybody.’ It Happened To Me.
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